Ramblings from a mind that is often irrationally upset about things

I'm gonna start this by saying I still think Biden will be the nominee. I still have money on it. I think the sexual assault allegation will hurt him, but the DNC will rally and keep him in the race. That being said who will replace him if he has to drop out? The biggest factor here is that if Biden drops out, superdelegates will determine the nominee at the convention. That means the DNC. Superdelegates are not elected, they are appointed and they do what the DNC says. So, with that in mind, here we go. Bernie Sanders Nope. But what if..... nope. Does not matter. No what if exists that makes Bernie the candidate. The DNC will shut that down by any means necessary. Where's the proof? Klobuchar and Mayor Pete dropping out right before Super Tuesday was the DNC nailing the door shut on Bernie.  Pete Buttigieg  I would vote unlikely. He doesn't have the experience and I don't feel like he can beat Trump. The Trump vs. Mayor Pete debates would be great but if the DNC doesn...

Breaking news, Iowa will resume athletic practices June 1, including football!!! This is the first set in stone we are going to have sports date announced since they started cancelling shit. I just got done with a 12 hour shift and saw this amd I am pumped. This isn't a proposed plan. This isn't a "we are hopeful that" statement. This is a concrete date for starting normal. I don't care that there might not be fans present. I don't care that this might change if the situation changes. All I care right now is that THE University of Iowa will be starting practice June 1st. This means we have saved Coach Kirk's mental health. This means we are winning. Great job everyone (except those listed in the Covidiots blog series) we are gonna have football this fall. Now don't start slacking on the social distancing now. Please. Do not ruin this. We are going to have football. So don't watch the news, stay home, wash your hands, and listen to the CDC because w...

Ok everybody, is it just me or is the level of stupidity getting exhausting to watch? Like does anyone else's brain hurt just observing the idiocy that is the news every day? I know mine does. I have given up on the idea of a covidiot tournament because I dont have the time to do a 132 entry tournament. Its ridiculous. Here we go with the latest winners. Vice President Mike Pence  Dude, wear a mask. I know your getting tested and whatnot, but have an understanding of optics. It's  a bad look, regardless of anything else. You look dumb. Clean it up. The urgent care docs from California  These two geniuses decided California should reopen. They made their decision nased on solid medical facts...... wait. They made their decision based on flawed data that has been condemned by every other medical professional to ever exist including Socrates. Bad info is a problem because no one knows shit about fuck and pretending you do is ridiculous. Give yer balls a tug. Iowa Governor Ki...

So I was perusing the interwebz today and found this headline. "Can Lava Kill The Coronavirus? An Investigation." I immediately looked for the babylonbee.com tag line. Nope, it's a real article by a real scientist and published in Forbes. With a question that is this fundamentally dumb you have no choice but to read it. Kinda interesting, full of useless science stuff and lots of big words. I will summarize, Lava kills the rona but if you try to drink it or inject it you will die. There ya go, now you know.

So it was bought to my attention that links I copy/paste aren't clickable and I don't have a tech guy so for this one just google "house to stay in recess" and you will find the story. In summary, the House of Representatives leadership has decided that it is unsafe for them to return to work and they will be staying home another week. I'm a little torn about this one. On one hand, they haven't got shit done since January 2017 so what's the difference? On the other, the economy is burning to the ground and maybe something should be done? The House hasn't accomplished anything that Schumer and McConnell haven't negotiated so I guess they don't really need to be there, but it's definitely a bad look as far as PR goes. Either way, Congress doesn't count as essential workers so they can just collect unemployment and they will be just fine. Oh wait, nevermind, Congress gets paid whether they work or not, so they might as well stay home eatin...

So Iowa started reopening Monday. Apparently we are doing a phased approach? Or something, I dunno.  I don't like big fancy words when they are used to explain simple concepts. Basically, some stuff is opening and other stuff isn't, but later more stuff will open. The first wave was Monday. Hospitals were allowed to resume elective procedures as long as it didn't require PPE from the state's emergency supply. Also, farmer's markets were allowed to open. I'm pretty happy with both these choices. Alot of so called "elective" procedures are time sensitive and there isn't going to be any more exposure at a farmer's market than a grocery store so it's a wash there. Now the fun stuff, on Friday resturaunts open but with restrictions, lots of restrictions, fun ones even. First, no bar seating and no serving drinks to people not ordering food. So no getting hammered at the local Applebees until your bar opens again. Also, resturaunts can only opera...

EMERGENCY LUNCHTIME BLOG!!!!!  Sources say Joe Biden is canceling his run for the Democratic Presidential nomination. This news breaks as Alyssa Milano withdraws support for nominee Biden over sexual assault allegations. Ms. Milano is an expert in political science with a degr.... wait that nots it. Oh yeah, she is an expert on criminal law with several years experience as a lawyer in..... nope not it either. Nevermind, everyone, you can go about your day, Biden isn't actually quitting. (Side note: If this is the first time you have read my blog and thought I actually had sources I'm sorry, if this is not your first time and you still thought I had sources, that's on you) Alyssa Milano is an actress-turned-activist (not sure who pays that salary) whose opinion doesn't really matter but continues to get space in the news cycle. She made some money reading words someone else wrote on camera and then declared herself an expert and started doing interviews. Can we stop givi...

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/biden-silent-tara-reade Ok, so I try to avoid picking sides on this blog but this seems kinda serious. I'm also going to use this opportunity to make fun of the media, as I tend to do. That being said, I think Biden maybe in trouble here. This doesn't seem to be going away and for some reason people care more about this than the fact Biden abused his position to make millions of dollars. But I digress. To sum up the political side of it, Biden is in trouble and this might cost him the election in turn bringing about a brokered convention in Milwaukee. Ok, enough politics now onto the making fun of the media part, which is why I hope most of you read this anyway. The media is fucked. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, all of them. They are all dumber than a fence post. You could seriously get better information sitting next to a fence post contemplating the universe than any so called "reporter" right now. There is no middle ground. CNN, etc. plays ...

So, I was lucky enough to be part of the inaugural Hard Factor Boat Race. Here's the link.  https://youtu.be/XnVedpaZ2uo It was an amazing experience and probaly the most fun thing I have done during quarantine. Now the breakdown. I submitted a chug video on Twitter and tagged the crew, got 1,000 views, it was pretty cool. Then I got a DM from the boys to fill out a survey. I filled out the survey, got the invite and a schedule. I misunderstood the schedule. I thought I would be chugging an interview beer and then maybe be one of the lucky eight that got picked for the standard 4 man boat race team. I wanted to be prepared, so I pregamed, I was probaly 3 or 4 beers in when the zoom started and kept sipping during the interviews. Then, surprise!, everyone is in the race! And we are chugging 2 beers back 2 back! Here we go boys! Solid performances in all the interviews, and shout out to the upside down beer chug guy. That was unique. Also, a pro tip for future racers, don't buy k...

LSU has showed up at this draft. There are 120 schools in the top division of NCAA football. Assuming 22 players per team (11 offense, 11 defense) that makes 2,640 players available for the draft. Now I know not every starter is hitting the draft, but lets say 1,500 are. That means, at best, 1.4% of available picks are Tigers. As I write this LSU players are 9 out of 84 picks. That's slightly better than 10% of picks so fat came from LSU, that's insane. 

So here we go folks. Newsbreak per CNN, President Trump says using disinfectents inside your body can help stop the rona. CNN automatically assumes everyone in America is as dumb as their reporters and starts issuing warnings that you shouldn't drink bleach or inject Lysol into your veins. This, in turn, triggers several companies and government organizations to issue warnings that you shouldn't ingest or inject any type of disinfectant. Um no shit? Apparently, drinking bleach is bad. I never knew. Also in things I learned today, injecting Lysol into your arm is bad. Who woulda thunk it? So, in case you haven't picked up on my hatred of all things news, let me explain why this is CNN intentionally trying to cause panic. Let's go to the quote from Trump. "And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs and ...

So I'm writing this as it happens, but before we get into it thank goodness for anything sports related. I'm so excited to have something live to watch. I'm watching the Barstool sports coverage which i highly recommend. Here we go!! Number 1, Bengals: Joe Burrow, LSU No surprise here, with Tua going down to injury and Burrow with his amazing season this was a no brainer. Number 2, Redskins: Chase Young, OSU Once again no surprise. Quote of the night: "I like a pass rusher named Chase." Brandon F. Walker. I wasn't surprised they picked him but I was surprised he went so high after terrible performances the last three games he played. Number 3, Lions: Jeff Okudah, OSU Solid pick for Detroit, OSU was dominant right up until the refs fucked them in the playoffs and Okudah was a big part of that. Number 4, Giants: Andrew Thomas, Georgia Wow. Did not see this coming. Most boards had him as number 3 tackle. Really thought we would see Wirfs out of Iowa here.  Number...

Here we go folks, day whatever of this mess. I am probaly not gonna be quite as humourous today because I am pretty much sick of media. No one knows anything (See No one knows shit about fuck, Parts 1-4) and people are constantly acting like they do. For example, headline says 2.7 million people in New York have had the coronavirus and recovered. That would be great news. Then you read the article and find out the 2.7 million number is based off testing 3000 people. Not only that, the test is still expiramental. So over/under 2 million on the 2.7 million guess? It's kinda disheartening to see a positive headline backed up by blatant bullshit. Then we have this brilliant piece. https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2020/04/23/eight_reasons_to_support_reopening_our_country_143020.html Before I destroy this guy, I want to credit him with making several good points. That being said this article sucks. His first point is that the projected deaths in the models have dropped drastica...

Finally a sports blog. Big headline today, MLB Commissioner Manfred announced that the Red Sox, like the Astros, will face zero consequences for cheating. I mean, I know there were lost draft picks, fines, some front office stuff but, long story short, nothing will happen to the players. Commissioner Manfred also said that even if he hadn't promised the Astros immunity for cooperation, they still wouldn't be facing punishment. The level of ignorance behind that statement should make your head hurt. So, here's a similair situation in the real world to explain why they should fire Manfred. Say, I'm working as a mechanic. Now, as a mechanic, I get hourly wage plus incentives for hours billed. Now I figure out a way to trick the system so that I am billing out 110% of my hours every month. Next, my manager figures out the trick. Oh shit, right? Nope makes him look good too so he helps and now we billing out 120% of hours worked. My manager and I use the performance in numbe...

Ok folks. First things first, thanks to everyone reading these and I've added a follow button if you want to know when I post. I'm  gonna try to keep up 2 a day during the week and maybe 1 or 2 on weekends depending on material. Now on to the blog, part 2 of a series that should only have one part. This time I'm going to hand out Covidiot Awards to specific people/groups.  Covidiot Award Recepient 1: Protesters Now, I do not 100% disagree with what these people are saying. The danger of tanking the economy and causing irreparable harm is real. That being said BE SMARTER!! Call your state reps and senators, call your congressman, flood the governor's office with email. Do anything other than gather in large groups with a bunch of people you don't know. Social distancing is neccessary and if you don't believe me google coronavirus in meat packing plants. We had a 500 case spike in one day in Iowa with over 50% from meat packing plants. Take notes you idiots. Covid...

So... I'm sitting here after x amount of beers and a fire and I realize that this sucks. The lockdown. The rona. The fact that no one knows shit about fuck. It all sucks. My mom, my brother, and me, (along with various other people) have had Tuesday night fires at the homeplace fairly regularly when the weather's nice. Now thats not happening and it sucks. I haven't been to see my sisters since I don't know when and it sucks. I haven't seen my grandma face to face in five weeks even though she lives 15 minutes away and it sucks. I bought the same grandma lunch and left it at her door and then called her to let her know it was there and that sucks. It all fucking sucks. But we will get through this. We will be okay. The world may burn down around us but we will be okay. We have faith, we have hope, we have optimism. We know that we are better than this. We know that the news lies and we are better than what they say. We know that there is an end to the tunnel. We kno...

Hey everybodyand welcome to Part 4 of the series that shouldn't even have 1 part. Apparently, the whole COVID-19 beings out the worst in "experts" across the globe. First up, this gem from CNN.  https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/21/politics/second-coronavirus-cdc-director-robert-redfield/index.html This genius, CDC director Robert Redfield says that the coronavirus outbreak this winter will be worse. He at least bases this claim on solid facts or you would think so. Lets check some quotes. "We're going to have the flu epidemic and the coronavirus epidemic at the same time," he added, predicting a dual assault on the health care system. Dual assault sounds pretty bad. Don't want to overload hospitals and shit. CNN is kind enough to explain. To have both the flu and the coronavirus circulating at the same time could overwhelm hospitals and doctors' offices that are already stretched thin in a bad flu season. I get it now. IF the rona returns (no one knows if...

Ok folks, hold on to your hats and keep hands and feet inside at all times because we are going for a ride. Georgia and Tennessee are going to reopen their states on Friday. (Deep breath). Okay, now I don't hate this. There are excessive restrictions/unnecessary restrictions being enforced in various places and that needs to change. So let's see what they are changing in Georgia. Employees at "gyms, fitness centers, bowling alleys, body art studios," as well as "barbers, cosmetologists, hair designers, nail care artists, estheticians, their respective schools & massage therapists," will be allowed to return to work on Friday but will have to operate under restrictions. This is good. These places can operate without having large groups, limiting customers, etc. Ok, blood pressure is good so far. Moving on, On Monday, April 27, sit-down restaurants, theaters and private social clubs will be allowed to reopen. Um. No. Actually, fuck no. Resturaunts and thea...

Ahhh Monday, another day that is the same as all the other ones. I was contemplating slowing down on the writing but thanks to the idiots of the world and the wonders of the internet there is no shortage of things to be angry about. (Side note: sometime in the future, current projections are April 2021, I will be doing sports as well.) Today, we have the prestigious idiots at Haaaaaaaarvard stating that home schooling should be illegal because of white supremacists. This is prime example of people disconnected from reality and also oblivious to timing. Whoever thinks that questioning the effectiveness of home schooling while the entire country is home schooling is a special kind of idiot. Now to the quotes. The summit brings together a number of “experts” from across the spectrum to discuss the “problems of educational deprivation and child maltreatment that too often occur under the guise of homeschooling, in a legal environment of minimal or no oversight.” Ok. Alot to unpack here. On...

Well folks, it's Saturday in my world and I was going to take the weekend off. I was having a nice day. I went to work this morning and got off early. Great start. Had to go a couple places and get some stuff. I was near my grandma's apartment so I did a ding dong dash at her place since I can't visit her. Just kidding, I left lunch outside her door and called her to tell her it was there. Got home, spent some relaxing quality time with the missus. Great day, then I opened up the ol' interwebz for shits and giggles and found this gem:  https://www.foxnews.com/media/dr-nicole-saphier-mit-coronavirus-study-reopening-america Dr. Nicole Saphier agrees with new MIT model: America needs to 'hunker down for a bit more,' open with caution I hadn't heard of the MIT model yet so I clicked it. Bad move for my brain but good for anyone killing time reading my blogs because I found this gem " We have to be careful when we look at models, because ... models aren'...

This is the official PDGA statement. https://www.pdga.com/announcements/covid-19-statement So I know disc golf isn't the NFL or even the PGA, but it's not small either. We will start with the May 31, 2020 sanctioning decision. This is going to affect events with any from 20 to 300 participants across the country. Every local disc shop running tournaments is gonna take a hit. Next, the national tour cancelling through July 31, 2020 is the scary one here. The national tour and amateur championships are huge events involving a shit load of people. Now, this does include a stop in Finland, so slightly different from MLB, NFL, and NBA which are all primarily domestic. That being said, I feel that the fact that the PDGA feels that tournaments, even without spectators, will not be safe until end of July is a huge fucking red flag for everyone else. They didn't make this decision because of what CNN said. They were talking to people at the top of the CDC and the White House task fo...

So this a story from Newsweek. Headline is  CORONAVIRUS OUTBREAK MAY HAVE STARTED AS EARLY AS SEPTEMBER, SCIENTISTS SAY You can read the article here https://www.newsweek.com/coronavirus-outbreak-september-not-wuhan-1498566 Now, from the headline you would assume that we are finally getting some solid research done so we can fight this thing. Scientists doing science stuff involving words I can't spell or pronounce much less define and making sure kickoff happens in August. Then we come across this gem of a quote. Based on the data Forster and his colleagues have collected, the coronavirus outbreak appears to have started between September 13 and December 7. "This assumes a constant mutation rate, which is admittedly unlikely to be the case, and the time estimate could therefore be wrong," he told Newsweek. "But it is the best assumption we can make at the moment, pending analysis of further patient samples stored in hospitals during 2019." (Insert slapping forh...

I think the entire package provides economic relief overall for about 10 weeks," Mnuchin told CBS's "Face the Nation." "Hopefully we will kill this virus quicker and we won't need it, but we have liquidity to put into the American economy to support American workers and American business." So, ol' Steve is getting murdered online for this quote. Secretary Mnuchin say $1200 dollars will last 10 weeks. This is popping up all over twitter, facebook, and my news feed. Wake the fuck up people. He isn't referring to the stimulus check. He is referring to the 2.2 trillion (best guess because the people who wrote it don't know the price tag) package. The whole fucking thing. The one where you are a guaranteed to qualify for unemployment if you lost your job due to coronavirus. The one that gives small business loans. The one that gives any waitress making $300 a week roughly $800 a week in unemployment benefits. This is why the news sucks. CNN, MSNB...

Well folks, I spend an unhealthy amount of time angry at people I can't control, it's how I live. But I think the world has managed to break my brain. I can't even be mad at these fucking morons right now. Thousands of people gathered to protest the stay at home orders issued by the governor of Michigan. Go back and read that last sentence again. If you can read that and your brain doesn't attempt to shut down, I'm proud of you because mine sure as fuck did. I am definitely anti government and extremely libertarian but for fucks sake people can we be smart about this shit. Governor Whitmer has def gone overboard with the severity of her stay at home orders, I can agree with that. They are not wrong. But to gatjer thousands of people together to protest? What a bunch of fucking morons. Covidiots like these people are why "experts" (I use this term loosely because no one knows shit about fuck) are saying May 1st is too soon to reopen. I mean, if you get 1,0...

So I realized today that this probaly should been my first blog, but it wasn't. So here we go. My name is Garrett. I am a 36 year old straight male. I have a fiance. I have kids. I live in a town of 600 people in Iowa. I also grew up in Iowa. I am a huge Hawkeye fan, especially football. I am also a huge Cubs fan. My grandparents grew up in Chicago and my grandma cried after Game 7 of 2016. The Cubs runs deep. I also cheer for the Bears and Raiders. One AFC one NFC. I don't care about NFL near as much as college but still follow. I dont give a shit about NBA, and hockey is really off/on again, currently off. I def lean right as far as politics but am going to stay way from politics as far as blogging goes.  (Exemption: when politicians are idiots regardless of party. I reserve the right to make fun of anyone.) I also enjoy Busch Light and Jack Daniels. I also rely on Barstool Sports for most of my news and spend too much time listening to them on Sirius XM and reading their blo...

Fuck the news, all of it, except Hard Factor So, as I am sure most of you are aware at Monday's press conference Dr. Fauci had a classic answer in the syle of the Rock's famous "It doesn't matter what your name is" where The Rock would just cut people off before they even got a sentence out. This was followed up by a death stare that was so cold Stone Cold himself would of retired and left the ring immediately if he would have seen it across the squared circle. So, now I'm gonna back up and do some background and then we are gonna get into it. Ready? Go!!! Step 1.  On Sunday during an interview with CNN Dr. Fauci was asked if starting mitigation measures (social distancing, closings, etc.) sooner would of saved lives. His answer was "Um yeah ya dumb fuck!!!". Ok, i paraphrased but he basically said that if we had known more sooner and started quarantine sooner it obviously would of helped. Step 2. CNN publishes a story based on the quote from Dr. Fau...

Why I need sports So this is a blog about why I need sports. I have a boat race blog planned but am waiting for the video release before I do it. First, I understand that there are more important things than sports right now.  Shout out to the doctors, nurses, grocery workers, EMTs, truckers, mechanics, and everyone else keeping us going right now. That being said I need sports. The reasoning behind this is best summed up by Coach Kirk. "If we don't have college football there are bigger problems to worry about."  This sums up my feelings perfectly. My need for sports is definitely second to me wanting people to be safe. I feel having sports is a benchmark. If I can watch the black and gold take the field in September that means we, as a nation, are ok. It means we have defeated the invisible enemy and life is approaching normal again. Having sports again is a symbol of victory. Having sports means we no longer need to be scared of visiting Grandma. There is a long standi...

So this is my first blog so feedback is welcome.  I'm starting out with the hot topic of the day COVID-19, the China virus, the Kung Flu, the Wuhan virus, the great pandemic of our time. This is the biggest thing to hit the ol' red, white, and blue since 9/11 and with that we have experts. We have epidemiologists, cardiovascular specialists, respiratory specialists, infectious disease experts and every other MD, PHD, internet guru, and politicians telling us what to do and how to stop it. The problem with all these experts? No one knows shit about fuck. You can read 3 articles, articles not opinion columns, on your website of choice, be it CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, or Yahoo News and find out three different, contradicting facts this story is based on. It's a novel coronavirus folks, that means new and no one knows shit about it. Projected deaths in the US have gone from 2 million to 50,000 in three weeks and if you think it's because of social distancing I have some beachfr...

So I'm gonna take on Tiger King today. Before everyone (if anyone reads this) tells me my takes are repeats…. they are. After watching all the Netflix episodes, listening to the Joe Exotic: Tiger King podcast, and watching the TMZ report, I don't think there are any new takes to be had but anyway here we go.  Carol fucking Baskin So, I feel like she is probably the most fake person on the show. She claims to be a rescue operation, but runs basically the same operation as Joe. The biggest difference is that Carol convinces people to volunteer 70 hours a week while Joe just pays people jack shit to work 70 hours a week. Interesting note from the podcast, Carol left home at 15 to hitchhike up and down the east coast with her boyfriend. The boyfriend that was AWOL from the Army. I'm just gonna assume you can do the math. Also, she was working for the governor of West Virginia at 17. Read what you will into that, but the point is that she's a hustler. She has been hustling h...

“There’s a way of doing that,”  Fauci said  in an interview released Wednesday. “Nobody comes to the stadium. Put [the players] in big hotels, wherever you want to play, keep them very well surveilled. ... Have them tested every single week and make sure they don’t wind up infecting each other or their family, and just let them play the season out.” So, this came out today and at first seems like great news. We are going to have baseball. However, upon closer review, he is happily telling us that baseball is fucked with a smile on his face. Now I am protecting my heart by refusing to believe that baseball will happen this year and putting all my chips on college football. That being said I will be ecstatic if I'm fucking wrong and we get baseball but I refuse to allow myself hope. Let's break the statement down.  Nobody comes to the stadium.  This works.... to a point. No fans is fine and doable although that would be fucking eerie. But what about bat boys, groundske...