Iowa Reopens!!! Well, kinda....

So Iowa started reopening Monday. Apparently we are doing a phased approach? Or something, I dunno.  I don't like big fancy words when they are used to explain simple concepts. Basically, some stuff is opening and other stuff isn't, but later more stuff will open. The first wave was Monday. Hospitals were allowed to resume elective procedures as long as it didn't require PPE from the state's emergency supply. Also, farmer's markets were allowed to open. I'm pretty happy with both these choices. Alot of so called "elective" procedures are time sensitive and there isn't going to be any more exposure at a farmer's market than a grocery store so it's a wash there. Now the fun stuff, on Friday resturaunts open but with restrictions, lots of restrictions, fun ones even. First, no bar seating and no serving drinks to people not ordering food. So no getting hammered at the local Applebees until your bar opens again. Also, resturaunts can only operate at 50% capacity and tables must be 6 feet apart. Keeping the tables apart is crucial because obviously there won't be any waitresses or waiters or anyone going to multiple tables. Next, customers must be screened upon arrival for symptoms. This is great. Having non medical personnel taking temps at the door will definitely not result in contaminated thermometers transferring germs between customers and I am positive that no one will lie about symptoms/exposure to get something they didn't have to cook or clean up after. There's also requirements for "enhanced cleaning measures", reservations only, and a bunch of other bullshit that I am running out of sarcasm for. There is also the minor technicality that these are technically guidelines and not requirements. This means one of two things will happen. One, no one opens or, two, no one follows the voluntary guidelines. I'm a big fan of the middle ground, but there is none here. It's gonna go one way or the other. These guidelines are Governor Reynolds pulling a Dr. Fauci and telling us that we are fucked with a smile on her face. Resturaunts will lose money if they open and follow all the guidelines, so they can either stay closed and let their employees continue collecting unemployment funded by the feds with money we don't have, stay closed, or open and only follow some of the guidelines. There is no middle. I will leave you with a quote from one of my readers "My boi is working 55 hour weeks in a mask, but you wanna catch an extra 600 a week AND enjoy half priced apps?  Fuck outta here." Stay safe folks, stay home, and for the love of all that you hold dear listen to the CDC so we can watch ESPN hate on the BIG10 this fall.