Obligatory Tiger King Blog

So I'm gonna take on Tiger King today. Before everyone (if anyone reads this) tells me my takes are repeats…. they are. After watching all the Netflix episodes, listening to the Joe Exotic: Tiger King podcast, and watching the TMZ report, I don't think there are any new takes to be had but anyway here we go. 

Carol fucking Baskin

So, I feel like she is probably the most fake person on the show. She claims to be a rescue operation, but runs basically the same operation as Joe. The biggest difference is that Carol convinces people to volunteer 70 hours a week while Joe just pays people jack shit to work 70 hours a week. Interesting note from the podcast, Carol left home at 15 to hitchhike up and down the east coast with her boyfriend. The boyfriend that was AWOL from the Army. I'm just gonna assume you can do the math. Also, she was working for the governor of West Virginia at 17. Read what you will into that, but the point is that she's a hustler. She has been hustling her whole life and the "rescue" operation is just the latest one. Also, she def killed her husband to get the money before he divorced her. The fed him to the tigers theory gets a big boost from the sardine oil comment in the documentary, but either way she killed him and someone helped her do it.

Travis Maldonado

This poor kid. They don't cover much of his background, but I don't think he ever had a chance. He was just hanging out and using Joe as a sugar daddy and pulled a stupid. Probably the most tragic storyline on the show.

John Finley

I don't know what to think about John. He was definitely in deeper than the show let on. I mean, you can't be married to a guy for 15 fucking years living at a zoo and be this clueless about what went on. He knows more than he is admitting, but so is pretty much everyone.

John Reinke

Dude should of been a witness at the trial. More on that later.

James Garretson

The life size chuckie doll. This guy is a piece of shit. He is everything wrong with the justice system. Giving him immunity if he went and got evidence? Come on man, if you don't have shit you shouldn't get a deal. Big part of the reason Joe's conviction stinks of set up. Also, he lies. Immunity on possession of a lemur? No fucking way, they had something bigger on him. And again, fuck this guy.

Joshua Dial

Only clean guy in this mess. Someone give him a job.

Allen Glover

I have nothing to say cuz I don't wanna die.

Jeff and Lauren Lowe

Fuck these people. I'm not gonna pile onto the train of making fun of Jeff's clothing choices, that speaks for itself. But, seriously, what pieces of shit. Now Joe isn't innocent by any means but he didn't deserve the five finger fuck job he got from these two. They set him up for the murder for hire rap and stole his zoo. No discussion, it's what they did. Also, the nanny is a model they paid to do a shoot, not actually their nanny. Apparently Jeff is currently under investigation by the DOJ and it's about damn time. He should be in the cell next to Joe for at least as long as Joe. These two are easily the worst people on a show full of bad people. Fuck 'em.

PETA

Fuck these people. Another classic example of a good idea taken so far that they are part of the problem. "See the cats pacing back and forth, that's a sign of psychological distress". Where do you start with what is wrong with that sentence? For fucks sake, are you basing this opinion on extended therapy sessions involving discussing the tiger's feelings on a couch. GTFO man. Fuck PETA. 

Joe Exotic

And here we are, the man himself. Is he clean? No. Did he do some fucked up shit? Fuck yes. Should he be in jail? Probably, but not for the hit. That was a setup. Did he hire Allen to do it? Fuck no. Allen was Jeff's guy the whole way. Allen didn't do shit unless Jeff said it was a go. It was a setup that failed. After that failed Jeff and the Chuckie doll brought in the undercover and trapped Joe. Did Joe try to have Carol killed? Maybe, but he def went down on a set up and that sucks. The fucking chuckie doll and Jeff fucked him hard. 

Final Thoughts

This was a shit show from start to finish. There is no hero. Carol needs to be in jail. Chuckie doll needs to be in jail. Jeff Lowe and maybe Lauren should be in jail. Joe should be in jail, but the fact that he is the only one that is in jail right now is fucked. If you haven't watched the show or listened to the podcast you should cuz it's entertaining. Also, if you like the blog let me know and I will cover some more of the characters. Be safe and for the love of all that is holy stay home so I can watch football in the fall.